Happy New Year!! Ive been having a good new year so far i guess..i went to see Will last week, it was soo weird, but im soo glad i got to see him i miss him soo much and i love him soo much but he says he is kinda seeing someone, i hope it doesnt work out because i want him back... i mean it hurt soo bad when i found out he was seeing another girl i was heart broken but he keeps telling me that i cant blame myself but i do and he is just so confusing what am i gonna do!! Sam thank you so much for going with me i dont know what i would have done if you werent there!!!!Ive been eating Peanut Butter Cup ice cream for 2 weeks(Sam you know!) Its weird because i eat a different flavor of ice cream for each guy its kinda funny and when im thinking about that guy i eat it , when im over him i never eat it again, im silly i know but its a system that i have and its working so im going to stick to it. I started talking to scott and Kerry again, they yelled at me because i havent been around lately, there mom yelled at me to. i was going through a lot of hard stuff to deal with like a messy break-up, death and not to mention loosing friends which i have back now so thats going GREAT!! Samantha, Sarah, Becky, i love you guys soooo much...

Today is exactly 2 months since my grandma died its so hard to go to church, i havent been to church since it happened, y do i feel so alone even though i know i have family and friends who love me so much? i want this feeling to go away, Samantha i finally understand how it feels and its nothing but hurt and anger and it wont go away.

i might go put flowers on her grave to show her that im there and that i miss her and love her soo much.. i know its gonna be hard but im gonna try to get though it the best i can..

I need a date to my Aunts Wedding Feb.4 at 11am.... i need to ask someone but the one i really want i cant have! well at least not right now.. i hope i get what i wnat!!